Alician Allen Writes:
This past September, my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child (found out when I went to doc for strep – haha). We were thrilled since we had been "doing nothing to prevent it" for two years. At seven weeks, I started bleeding. My blood was clotting and lead to a miscarriage. I didn't react as strongly as my family or friends. I had peace (at least so I thought) that it just wasn't the right time.
As the months progressed and we did not conceive again again late emotions began to surface. I pushed them back until mid-January when I couldn't take it anymore. Once again, I wasn't pregnant, and I was invited to a baby shower the following Sunday afternoon. I sobbed and cried more than I ever have. I didn't know what to do with myself, who to turn to, or what passages to look for in the Bible. I wasn't close to anyone who had ever experienced the same thing. I mean, my best friend isn't even married yet.
I found myself questioning God, venting the anger I held in. I wanted to figure out why God had made a child inside me just to take him or her back! My husband and I had just started visiting Crossing Church at the first Sunday of the year. I felt like God was telling me that if I contacted Daniel I would find peace. This made no sense to me, since he is a guy and all, but I emailed him anyway. Daniel connected me with a fellow church member who had also experienced two miscarriages. She referred me to a blog by a Christian woman who had miscarried five of ten pregnancies. God answered my questions: "Why?".
This was the answer: God blessed me by choosing me to conceive another person for Him, another person who would praise Him for eternity. I am a mother, and our baby is in heaven. One day I will get to meet my child! I cannot wait until that day. I now have peace in waiting for His perfect timing. I trust His plan, and am at peace. I will continue to pray for a child to raise up in this world to honor God, and I'm sure it'll happen when God says it is time.